9- The Punchline

9

The Punch Line

Patty stared up at the address she had gotten from Grates.  It was a five-story, rat hole of an apartment complex.  It was the kind of place where the maintenance guy was always on vacation.  The cops were probably here nightly, and the apartments were a step up from a cardboard box.  Patty wasn’t surprised.  This wouldn’t be her first ‘business’ visit to a place like this and it certainly wouldn’t be her last.

She was about to take her first step to head in, when she saw them get out of there Crown Victoria.  Rockwell and Stone shut the doors and began to walk toward the apartment complex.  Rockwell was babbling non-stop while Stone pretended to listen. They hadn’t seen her, so she calmly moved backward into the shadows of a nearby alley.

What the fuck were they doing here?

 Patty’s mind reeled, trying to understand this.  Those two psychos were bottom-of-the-barrel murders.  It was a wonder the cops hadn’t taken them down yet.  They were hired for shit jobs and were infamous in certain criminal circles for shooting up the RTA train a year ago.  People hired them if they were desperate.

Was Elmo that desperate?

 No.  He wouldn’t have hired them after the RTA incident, and he would never double book Patty when those two were in the mix.

Would he?

They had to have been there for someone else.  After all, the complex was rundown and probably housed thousands of miscreants.  It was probably just a coincidence.

Patty would have to wait this out.  With Stone and Rockwell in there, things would get ugly; there would be bodies, probably cops.  Hopefully, if Jim Creegan was smart, he and the woman would get out.  When they did, Patty would follow and take them down.

The problem with the plan was that it relied on Creegan’s I.Q., which could not be that big if he was back with this Maggie Mills woman.  Patty had read the file which Grates had gotten her.  She knew what Maggie had done to Creegan.

Stupid men, and their stupid dicks.

****

“So, I have three hookers now, they’re all around me.  I am literally boxed in by hookers…” Rockwell’s story continued on with a stunning lack of direction.

Stone found himself wondering how it was that Rockwell could keep it up without asphyxiating.  He also caught himself trying to figure out how long this story had been going on when Rockwell started telling it as they crossed the crappy main lobby of the unkempt apartment complex to the elevators.

“…So I say, ‘so how much for the lot of you?  Is it cheaper to buy in bulk?’”  Rockwell’s story paused while he laughed at his own joke.

Stone pressed the elevator button and waited while Rockwell continued, “…So then, one of them asked if I can afford them all, and I say, ‘Bitch I kill people for a living, what I want, I take.’  She didn’t believe me, so I pulled my .357”

The elevator dinged and the doors opened.  Stone interrupted Rockwell’s story as they stepped into the small box elevator, only big enough for maybe four people.  “Hold on, you told a bunch of hookers you kill people?  And you pulled your gun at the club?!”

Rockwell became sullen.  “Not at the club!  What do you think I am, stupid?  It was the after-party.”

Stone shook his head in frustration as he hit the button for the third floor.  “Oh yeah, house party is a much better place to pull a gun.”

“Don’t be a pussy, Stone.”  Rockwell said before beginning again, “anyway, these whores weren’t even scared.  They were just impressed.  Then the one goes, ‘well if you want us forever, you could always just kill our pimp!’  Then, she starts laughing like it’s a joke, so I ask who their pimp is and she points him out.  I’m expecting a big black mother fucker.  Instead, it’s his tall skinny white guy in glasses-”

Stone cut in again.  “Does this story have a point?”

Rockwell gave him an indignant look.  “Of course, asshole.   Just wait.  So, any way… Wait, where was I?”

“The pimp was a skinny white guy with glasses,” Stone responded, without emotion.

“Oh Yeah!” Rockwell remembered.  “A skinny mother fucker, right, so I just stand up and yell, ‘Hey!  Two percent!  These bitches are mine now!’ and I put two in his chest!”

Rockwell followed the word chest with a series of loud, obnoxious laughter.  Stone stared in exhausted annoyance.  “You shot a pimp at an after party?”

Rockwell, still laughing, responded between bursts.  “I know, right?  I swear, I think I’m a pimp now!”

Stone shook his head.  “So, what is the punch line here?”

Rockwell looked up confused, “Well, of course it’s-”

The elevator dinged and the doors slid open.

****

Creegan snapped to awareness.  It was night in his apartment.  They had fallen asleep.

“SHIT!” he scolded himself as he pulled himself upright and hurriedly began to put on clothes.

Maggie stirred and spoke softly, still half asleep.  “What’s wrong?”

“Come on, get up.  We fell asleep.”  Creegan spoke hurried and sternly as he dragged a clean white shirt over his head and pulled a duffle out from under his bed.

Maggie raised her head off the bed and scratched her eyes.  “Come back to bed.  No one knows I’m here.  No one thinks you’re stupid enough to take me back again.”

Creegan looked up and had a moment of failing resolve as he saw her naked body, perfecting lit by the moon through the window.  “Really?  You think people think I’m not too stupid to take you back a third time, after I already did it twice before and got fucked over?  You think they are all looking at the files thinking ‘third time’s a charm’?”

Maggie seemed to realize what Creegan was getting at, and then she rolled out of bed.  “You’re right.”

They franticly put some clothes into the duffle.  He zipped it shut and they opened the door, stepping out.  Creegan turned and locked the door, handing the duffle to Maggie.  They began to walk toward the elevators.

“So, who’d you call in the bathroom?”  Creegan asked, looking at Maggie out of the corner of his eyes.

Maggie gave him playful glance.  “Still don’t trust me?  I’m likely to take that as an insult, after what we just did.”

Creegan decided not to press further and instead, pressed the elevator button.

It immediately dinged as if the elevator was already on the floor.  The doors slid open, slowly.

Maggie and Creegan were face to face with Rockwell and Stone.

“Hi guys.”  Creegan said, nervously, after a second of silence.  “What are the odds you two are here for someone else?”

“Distinctly low.”  Stone said, his cold gaze locked on Creegan.

“Mother fuckers!”  Rockwell yelled suddenly, and went to the front of his pants for the big revolver.

Stone went inside is coat for one of his multiple automatic pistols.

Creegan watched the shit hit the fan in slow motion.

Creegan lunged and drove his fist into Stone’s face as hard as he could, taking the man by surprise.  He lost his footing and crashed into the corner of the small elevator.

“STAIRS!” Creegan yelled to Maggie as he charged forward into the elevator, catching Rockwell’s hand as it came up with the revolver and pinned him backward into the metal wall, hard with his whole body.

Maggie didn’t think twice and bolted to the stairs.  Creegan kicked with his foot, backward to smash the ‘Close Door’ button and the elevator dinged before the doors slid closed, sealing Creegan in a small box with two of the scariest men in the state of Ohio.

****

Maggie did not have to be told twice.  She ducked low and sprinted through the door to the stairwell.  She was not going down, here.  She hit the stairs, too fast and three down she left her feet spectacularly, flying through the air and crashing to the landing.

Maggie cursed the fall and picked herself up.  She was so close.  So much money was on the line.  She had finally managed to make a deal and now, less than seven hours from now, she would be rich or at least a lot closer to it.

She heard gun shots and hoped that it wasn’t the end of Creegan.  Either way, she picked up the pace.  Realizing she had to get out of the lobby before the elevator did, she couldn’t bank on her personal punching bag winning this one.  She had to play it safe.

Somehow, deep inside however, Maggie knew Jim Creegan would come out of this one just like he always did.  If there was one quality to the man Maggie never got sick of, it was his ability to survive anything.  Gunfights, fist fights, knife fights, Creegan always ended up walking away.  He also, somehow, managed to keep a small bit of his faith.  Not in God or religion, but in people.  After all Maggie had done to him, he still cared for her.  Maggie had lost this ability a long time ago.

She got to the bottom floor and was startled by another series of gunshots.  She hit the door out of the stairway and it didn’t give.  Maggie staggered and fell, a slew of terrible words streaming out of her mouth as she did.  She stood and growled before moving back to the door, realizing that it was a security door that needed a key to be opened.

She cursed and worked to get the door open, realizing that if she couldn’t get it open her fate would, yet again, be in the hands of Jim Creegan.

OPEN, YOU MOTHER FUCKER!

Through the small window in the door, she looked out into the lobby as the elevator light clicked on and the doors began to slide open.

The three men tumbled out of the elevator in a chaotic mass.  Creegan, came down on top of Stone with his full force and body weight while Rockwell, somehow, came over top of Creegan, hitting the floor and sprawling to the side, his giant revolver sliding across the floor and clacking to a halt against the very door from which Maggie was trying to escape.

Creegan and Stone were locked up in a vicious battle.  Creegan was trying to rain down forearms on Stone, while Stone blocked and tried to fight out of the terrible position. Stone’s nose was bleeding, either from the first explosive punch or something that had happened on the elevator.  Creegan was dripping blood from his left arm.  It was running down from the shoulder, maybe.  Had he been shot?

Rockwell was shaking off the nasty fall and catching his bearings.  Rockwell then seemed to come to, his eyes suddenly scanning for his gun.

Maggie began to scream and pound on the door.  “CREEGAN! CREEGAN! THE GUN! HE’S GOING FOR THE GUN!”

Her screaming got everyone’s attention.  Rockwell and Creegan both looked toward the gun.  Creegan moved quickly, worming his hand from top to bottom over Stone’s arms, then snapped his forearm in a quick. tight strike to Stone’s temple.

Rockwell pulled himself up and started running for the gun.

Creegan had stunned Stone and pulled himself into a desperate run.

Rockwell got there first, grabbing the gun and raising it.  Creegan was a second behind him, leaping him the air and throwing his shoulder forward.  All his weight slammed into Rockwell, body checking him into the door.  Rockwell’s head hit the thin glass window and it exploded inward.  Maggie covered her face just in time to be showered with the remnants of the window.

Creegan grabbed the gun, still in Rockwell’s hand, and pulled the trigger.  The gun was pointing down and promptly fired, sending the large .357 Magnum hollow point bullet through the top of Rockwell’s foot.

Rockwell wailed in pain and Creegan brought the large revolver up and into his face, breaking his lip and sending him backward to the floor in a fetal position.

Creegan spun and brought the gun up, just as Stone was pulling himself to his feet and going for his own.

“STOP!”  He yelled, and Stone obeyed, eyeing the large gun.

There was a half second of silence as Stone weighed the possibility of drawing and firing on Creegan before Creegan pulled the trigger.

Stone decided against that action.  He slowly pulled his hands out of his jacket and raised them in the air.

“I swear I’m gonna fucking KILL YOU!”  Rockwell was screaming on the floor, clutching his foot.  “I’m going to fucking cut your balls off and shove them up your fucking ass!” Rockwell continued to shout these things, but Maggie had blocked them out.  Instead, she reached through the window and took Creegan's keys, then unlocked the door and stepped through while Creegan eyed Stone.

Maggie then stayed behind Creegan as they both backed out of the lobby and into the street, Creegan never taking his eyes off Stone.

Yet again, Creegan had survived.  Yet again, he had rescued her.  She knew he would.

That’s why she picked him.